Liar liar pants on fire. Is a white lie less flammable?

A hugely important point - How ironic that liar liar pants on fire has such a different effect with fibber fibber, pants in the river...?

Ok, let's start with lies that I tell myself:

- If it's not nailed down in a posh restaurant, it's fair game. It justifies spending £14 on a cocktail if you liberate a hand soap in a pretty bottle. (I do not condone this)

- That retaliation works. But it does have great immediate effects.

- That eating spicy food is a diet plan. Going out for a curry is classed as part of my detox plan, along with drinking beer (because it means I pee a lot - so it's a bit like a detox). However add honey in to the mix and that's doubly good for you. Honey is like the wonder ingredient right know, don't you know. Honey and honey beer in my curry it is.

- That champagne and wispa bars are half the fat due to all the air in the bubbles. I have no interest in being proven wrong on this.

- That heading to the pub on a Friday night instead of the planned gym session is no biggy, because; a) I walked there. b) The beer detox, as above. c) Having a giggle with my friends reduced my cortisol levels, in other words, it's like a tummy flattening exercise. d) I saved money on electricity in the house. Ok, I may be stretching it a bit with the last one.

- That Gift With Purchase deals with beauty products 'saves you money'.

- With every burp or fart during a hangover, you are expelling more of the previous night's badness. The joy of a Hangover.

- Or that farting is part of a weight-loss program.

On a slight tangent but in line with my somewhat questionable ideas:

5 things that should be 1 of your 5 a day:

Jam tarts.
Cider. (Any type)
Pornstar Martinis.
The pineapple, carrot and the peppers in a Chinese take-away Sweet & Sour Chicken is 3 of your 5 a day.
Chocolate. It comes from a bean.

 

There are good lies, lies that get you through the day, lies that make you feel that flatulence is part of a healthy lifestyle choice and lies we tell our children to keep us sane.

Then there are bad lies. Let's not do that. Do not get me wrong, people who lie to gain an upper hand against others, to bully, to deceive & make themselves feel better at the detriment of someone else. I pity you. There are those that like lies which justify their bad behaviour, that give them an excuse to embrace a wrongdoing. Or those that don't want the truth, just constant reassurance that what they choose to beleive (as it is easier) is the truth.

 

Peace out.