Ah - the beauty that is a good friend.
- Hazel Butterfield
- 11 October 2016
Or more, if you are exceptionally lucky. They can come in all forms. The ones you see most days at the school gates, the diamond who is always ready to put the world to rights with a glass of vino (G&T, Espresso Martini and/or Pornstar Martini), those that just know you inside out whether they see you daily, weekly, monthly or yearly.
Generally, as we 'mature' (I use that word with trepidation), we refuse to take less shit and develop relationships based on a mutual appreciation of attitudes, styles, goals and 'joie de vivre'.
They know when to leave you alone, take you out or tell you when you're being a dick. Or when to tell you what is right and wrong (& when the wrong thing will do you good!) It's honesty, when you need it. Space when you need it. AND knowing that if you're running late to meet them that that time should be spent making sure a Pornstar Martini should be ready and waiting.
It's giggling for an hour at 7am with a hangover, then them popping to the kitchen for juice and knowing that Dairylea plastic cheese is always welcomed/needed to soak up the prosecco afterburn. Adopting the correct name for your ex's, be that whatever expletive occurs in front of 'face'. Taking you to A&E the morning after the night before. Or that friend who, when you forget your keys and return from a run, drops them around to you as you need your post-workout poo and can't possibly travel any further.
The friendships that blossom organically and before you know it, you realise just how far you've come together. A friend of mine, a chance meet up at the gym, that turned into a love of sunday cocktail brunches after a gym session, before you know it you're champagne buddies, can obliterate a night out budget in minutes and never fail to have a great night just gassing away. That same friend of mine, who used to live 5 minutes away, moved stateside and with great hopes of not losing touch, there is always that dreaded feeling that the Atlantic will be a friend blocker. But no, I see her more now that what I did the year before she left. Who doesn't love a trip to Boston, a chance meet up in NYC? I also drop everything the second she's back over this way. It just works. No pressure, just ease. As with the majority of my friendships.
But with some friendships, they're just meant to be. The friend you 'used to' love and haven't seen in 15 years, maybe the friendship is more of a romantic idea. Just keep clicking 'like' on their FB posts that should do the trick. You know who I mean.
Friends in your 30-40's change or at least evolve. The ones from your youth that evolve with you, are just magic. Maybe the friends, with whom you were inseparable throughout your childhood, your paths and goals are poles apart and meet-ups may be as regular as twice a decade. But it fits like a glove. Sometimes not. It's appreciating what you have.
What good friends mean, what they give to you in an emotional sense. To have someone know you so well (and love you anyway!). Friends are different to family. It's a choice with a different history and requirements, but do not get me wrong, they can be just like family. They can be both.
To all the great friends out there, you rock! X